Not Such a Perfect Day

What I've been thinking about this week:

• Teamwork

Ivie and I are pretty similar in a lot of ways. We're both a bit lazy about housework, neither of us is bad cop when it comes to puppy training and we find each other hilarious (thankfully). 

Who's in charge here? I'll give you one guess....

I can't imagine being with someone that a. I don't find hilarious and b. Doesn't find me hilarious (as in funny haha, not funny peculiar). Laughing every day makes my world go round. 

World events sometimes make it hard to find something to laugh at but our little world usually provides good comedy fodder. The punchlines often involve shite and are delivered during meal times but I'm getting used to adapting my description of a dirty joke. 

Of course, there are lots of ways we differ, too, such as our tolerance to cow shite on our clothes, skin and soft furnishings, as well as our ability to reverse large piece of machinery in small spaces (I don't need to try to know that I would cause thousands of pounds worth of damage).

These similarities and differences do mean that we make a pretty good team, though. 

Yesterday's team task in glorious sunshine involved me holding the dog and proffering treats and encouragement while Ivie clipped her fur. It's not quite up to Crufts standard but it's better than it was. 

Gratuitous puppy pic

Today's weather has taken a turn for the worse and it feels more like February than the end of June. The wind is howling and the rain is coming down in sheets, making it Ivie's least favourite kind of day. Why's that, I hear you ask. Well, because it's the perfect day for doing bills. 

Here's how much Ivie enjoys it. 

11.08am   We start doing the first bill. 

11:16am   Ivie: Is it time for a break yet? 
                 Me: We've been doing this for 8 minutes.
                 Ivie (with petted lip): It feels like 8 hours. 

Not Ivie's Happy Place

So, the kitchen is a bit of a tip and the dog is running rings round us but at least the money will come in and we'll still be laughing at our own jokes. 

Lazybones

What I realised this week:

I'm always going to feel lazy next to Ivie

My batteries were a bit low last week. Nothing serious, just not a huge amount of spring in my step. Mind you, it's not like I'm usually running around at 100 miles an hour. I'm perfectly capable at sitting still. I've even been paid to sit still at life drawing classes.

Ivie, on the other hand, isn't so great at sitting still. Unless it involves food or tractor porn he generally acts like he has ants in his pants (see here for a definition of tractor porn that won't shock your granny). For anyone who wants to know what's worse than ants in your pants, message me and I'll tell you a tasteless joke, which is not for general consumption.

I've come to the conclusion that I'll always feel lazy next to Ivie. I'm always going to work fewer hours. During lockdown, I'm doing 28 hours a week; in the summer Ivie will clock that up in two days. And he works every weekend unless he's physically not here. Even after we'd been to Japan for a fortnight, we got back late morning, had lunch and he had his boiler suit (and a contented grin) on within the hour. It's work, Jim, but not as we know it.

At Shibuya Crossing, Tokyo

For a while now, I've been offering to help Ivie with invoicing. I've got nerdy tendencies that mean I like paperwork, spreadsheets and sums. Until last weekend, Ivie had figured that it was quicker to do it himself than explain it to me. I think now that I live here (and I'm here till at least the end of lockdown 😉) it makes sense to teach me how to do it.

So, last Sunday I grabbed a notebook and pen and turned up for my training session. The system's all set up so in theory it should be pretty straightforward. I take the job sheets for each customer, collate them and work out what the bill should be. Except that system relies on Ivie having filled in the job sheets in a helpful manner.

Stationery! 

See if you can work out what these job sheet terms mean.
1. Dung
That's right. It means 'tractor, trailer and driver'.

2. Hauling dung
As above. Obviously.

3. Snudge
Mr I McFadzean (I knew that one).

4. Cuil
Mr C McClymont (yep, knew that one, too).

5. Falbae
Home of Karen and Gav Poole. Invoice goes to Mr J Weir. I give up.

40% isn't a great score. I'm beginning to think it might be quicker for Ivie to do it himself.

View from Snudge's
(Glentrool from Glenvernoch)