Glorious Mud

Things you should know:

1. None of my clothes are clean.
2. I don't really mind. 

I was doing a work project recently that involved having Zoom calls with a few people around the region. Most were people I hadn't met before but one was someone I've crossed paths with through various jobs over the years. 

I hadn't spoken to her for a while so we had a bit of a catch up before I started asking her my Very Important work questions. We had a chat about me living at the farm and she said she thought it sounded idyllic. She fancied the idea of being surrounded by animals but was put off by the dirt, she said. 

Magnificent beasts

"You don't know the half of it," I thought to myself. My dog eats sh*te and my boyfriend routinely comes in with it on his head. It certainly puts a different spin on having a dirty weekend... 

On Friday night we went to a friend's for dinner. There were to be three couples, including one Ivie and I hadn't met. Our host set up a group chat to confirm the details. You know the kind of thing: who was still doing Dry January (0/6); who had a negative lateral flow test (6/6); and what not to wear (anything we didn't mind getting covered in dog hair). 

I typed, "I live on a farm. None of my clothes stay clean for longer than five minutes* (not entirely the farm's fault)."
The woman I was yet to meet replied, "I spill food."

I knew then that we'd all get along and that we'd have a great night. I'm pleased to report that I was right on both counts. 

*[I should say at this point that I know this isn't the case for everyone who lives on a farm. I know lots of people who look very well turned out all the time. Dirt has a habit of jumping out on me, though. I could live in a hermetically sealed box and still have toothpaste on my top and mud on my jeans. In fact, I inadvertently went to my last kidney check-up in just that outfit.]

My natural state

Although I'm beyond delighted that parts of life are returning to normal where we can go to each other's houses for dinner and meet up with other like-minded souls, I do have to remind myself that:

1. Real life is not a Zoom call.
2. More than my head and shoulders are on show when I leave the house.
3. Not everyone is immune to farm aromas. 

Still, at least I can't be put on mute in the real world...