It's a Dog's Life

 Here's what I've been thinking about:

1. There hasn't been a blog for a while. 
2. How hard can it be? 

I've only lived at the Spittal for about 7 months and I already know more about how this farming malarkey works than that blonde piece. 

I have quite a good life here and it didn't take me long to set the ground rules. 

Every day starts roughly the same with the ginger one letting me out. He doesn't say much but that's because he's thinking hard about the day ahead. 

My best side

The blonde one comes through next and I make sure I jump all over her while she's putting her boots on so she knows how enthusiastic I am about our morning constitutional. As far as I can make out, the length of our walk depends on a few different things:

• how much of that special juice they've drunk the night before that makes the pair of them laugh at nothing and talk even more sh**e than usual;
• whether she'll be spending the rest of the day tapping on her keyboard;
• and whether she'll be looking at anyone else on her screen and needs a hair wash.

I also love stationery

If it's her work day I sit quietly in the kitchen, whimpering from time to time to remind her I'm her real boss. If it's my work day, I get to go in the tractor or the loadall or sometimes I just get to run around the steading sniffing all the new smells that have appeared since yesterday.

My first day at work in the tractor

The smells are many and varied and largely unappreciated by the humans. Often the smells are so glorious I have to taste them and that's when one of them shouts, "Rudi, no! Stop eating the silage/calf scour/sh**e!" (delete as applicable). 

Sometimes in the afternoons I get to run around with the other boss, Isa. (Dot's the big boss but she's so important we don't see her much.) So, Isa and I mainly organise our own workloads. My job description is to run after Isa, sniff what she sniffs and taste anything she tastes. We wag our tails a lot. 

Afternoon break

At the end of the day, I get to sit on the sofa between my humans, even though I heard that before I lived here they said, "Absolutely No Dogs On The Sofa". They're hilarious. 

Hopefully, the blonde one will start taking her blog writing a bit more seriously because this took ages, what with my big, clumsy paws and my tail deleting words left, right and