What a load of bull

What I have learned:

1. Ivie is laid-back 99.9% of the time.
2. You can take a pun too far. 

Living on a farm isn't as quiet as you'd think. I regularly wake up to a strange noise - that in my half-asleep state sounds like the alarm on my phone - only to realise (again) that it's a bellowing bull. 

They're noisy creatures and it seems like they're often disgruntled. Not in that story book rampaging through a china shop way. They're much more more slow moving and tend to be focused on one or two fairly basic needs - food and a bit of cow action. 

I found out the other day that it's called 'running with cows' when a bull is let loose in a field with cows that are in season. It sounds like a euphemism an elderly aunt would use like when they ask teenagers if they're 'stepping out' with anyone. 

This bull knows his place

Anyway, the other morning I was getting ready for work. During lockdown, this has mostly entailed putting on clean(ish) clothes and brushing my hair (if I've got a Zoom call that day). I happened to look out of the bedroom window and I saw one of the bulls where he ought not to be. As I had been paying attention during my lesson on field names, I could phone Ivie and tell him where the offending bull wasn't. 

What followed was a Benny Hill-esque rampage by Ivie as he tried to persuade the bull back into the field. The bull was having none of it, keeping focussed on the cow that had so coquetishly caught his attention. Or something like that. 

Ivie's so laid-back most of the time but unco-operative animals in the wrong place really raise his blood pressure and I could see his face getting redder and redder. I kept an eye on him, partly to check that he didn't keel over but mainly because it was bloody hilarious. 

Eventually, the bull reluctantly returned to the house field and Ivie rapidly returned to what he'd been doing before the delightful animal went for a detour. 

It made me think of the town of Bulls in New Zealand. I passed through it a couple of times when I lived in Wellington many moons ago. I like a good pun but the residents of Bulls have taken it to a whole new level. As you drive through, you start to notice a theme to all the shop names. The antique shop? Collect-a-bull. The library? Read-a-bull. I do have a soft spot for the police station, mind you - Const-a-bull. 

Pity the angus didn't take note. He's not exactly in-escapa-a-bull. 

Photo from not-australia.co.nz