A Time and a Place

Things you should know:

1. I'm learning
2. You've got to have a strong stomach for this lark

Yesterday, Ivie had to calf a cow. For those unfamiliar with cows, they're usually pretty good at getting on with it themselves but sometimes they need a bit of extra help. This one was a heifer (which means it was its first calf*), and sometimes they need quite a lot of... let's call it intervention. 

Mind you, I'm getting the hang of asking the right questions at the appropriate time:

• is the calf up on its feet?
• is the cow letting it sook?
• did they have to milk the cow and bottle feed the calf? 

Yesterday was a new one on me, though. Without going into too much detail - partly because I can't remember all the ins and outs (as it were) and partly cos it's a bit brutal - this birth involved a lot of jiggery pokery and something called a calving jack to get the wee blighter out. 

Protective Mama

Ivie, on the other hand, did remember all the details and thought the lunch table was a good time and place to recount them all. I wasn't so sure, especially as it was followed by a chat about a dung spreading machine that Ivie and his brother were going to look at that afternoon. 

If someone had told me three years ago that these would be topics of conversation with my significant other I don't think I'd have believed them. Other recent topics include:

• why some farms wrap their bales 4 times and others 6 
• sperm testing of bulls
• the merits of owning vs hiring farm machinery

Bales wrapped 4 times

Sometimes I like lunchtimes when we just talk about what's for tea.

* I haven't quite worked out how the word 'heifer' has entered normal day language to describe someone who's overweight. Suggestions welcome.

Pros and No Cons

Things you should know: 
There are more advantages than disadvantages

I moved to Dumfries and Galloway at the end of 2013 after more than 20 years living in cities including Edinburgh, Glasgow and Wellington, NZ. There's really very little I miss about city life. 

• I used to spend over an hour every morning and evening travelling 10 miles each way on the number 25 bus. Now, it's a 3 minute drive into the village or a 3 second walk to my homeworking desk.
• There were people everywhere, especially in Edinburgh in August. The memories of trying to get to the bank in my lunch hour still raise my blood pressure.  
• I didn't know any of my neighbours. When I first moved to Auchencairn, my neighbours all introduced themselves within 20 minutes of my arriving and post like this used to arrive without any problem. 

There's very little about country - or farm - life that makes me grumble. Occasionally, I feel like being able to walk to a restaurant, cinema or exhibition but then I remember all the great things about living where I do. 

• Through Ivie I have an extended adopted family who have been welcoming and wonderful, especially during lockdown. 
• The noisiest thing I usually hear all day is bulls bellowing at each other. 
• People bring us things all the time, like carrots and cabbages for us to plant or juicy raspberries from their garden. 

No shortage of planters around here

One of things I'll never tire of is the view from The Spittal. There are views from the top of the farm that only a handful of people have ever seen. Those of you who know Ivie will know about his Instagram posts with the hashtag #anotherboringview. It's true that he takes it slightly for granted but I think he's appreciating it a little bit more as I get to know my new surroundings. 

It makes every day more than a little bit better. I reckon I'll stay for a while 😉

One Woman and Someone Else's Dog

Things I learned today:

1. You've got to keep sheep moving.

2. They are stupider than I thought.

Things I already knew:

1. I love Isa. 

I've had a pretty busy day. It was another one of those instances where I said, "yes" without giving it nearly enough thought. Anyone else detecting a theme?  

It's been a bit of a tough week. I've been really fed up with lockdown now that it's starting to relax more for the general population. The freaks like me  people shielding are still only allowed to meet people outside and have other (very kind) people do their shopping, which is a pain in the bahookie. 

So, when Ivie suggested I go and help him and Drew (his nephew) this morning, I jumped at the chance, especially as Isa the collie was also invited. 

The three humans set off for the top of the farm on the quad bike with Isa snapping at the wheels. This is a collie pastime, apparently, and worries me greatly but Ivie assures me that she gets out the way if you just keep driving. So far so true.... 

Isa is a working-dog-in-training. She's great at keeping a big group of sheep together at the edge of a field, running from one side to the other bringing in any stragglers. What she's not quite mastered yet is figuring out which direction the humans are trying to drive them. Eventually the sheep were in an enclosure and Ivie and Drew set up various fences and gates to form a wide entrance that narrowed to a single lane. At this point, Isa and I watched on, neither of us very sure what was happening or what we'd be doing next. 

It turns out that Isa, Drew and I had to separate off smaller groups of about 15 lambs and ewes and Drew operated a 'guillotine gate' (which is just as it sounds) to direct them down the corridor (or 'race') to a weigh scale. Ivie weighed the lambs, separating the ones heavy enough to go to market this week and let the ewes straight through. We probably did this half a dozen times then went for lunch. 

At one point one of the ewes decided to stick its head between the gate post and the wall and get it stuck. It didn't wriggle or bleat or look alarmed. It just stood there staring straight ahead as if to say, "Looks like I'm stuck. Think I'll face this way for a while". Freeing it involved Drew holding its head and Ivie lifting its body so that it could get its head out the gap it had stuck it in. Stupid animal. 

After lunch, Drew went off to mow his grandparents' grass so we collected Isa and headed back to the enclosure where we'd left the sheep. I was thinking we'd be taking them back to their field and then heading back home for a nice cup of tea and a sit down. 

But they still needed dipped. I had visions of them being dunked in a sunken tank and hauled out the other side. Thankfully, it just involved repeating what had been done this morning with the separating and the groups and the guillotine for Ivie to spray them with blue stuff down their backs. The only difference was that Drew wasn't there to open the gate, separate the sheep, close the gate, operate the guillotine gate and keep hold of Isa. Or take them back to their field and bring the next 150 over three fields to do it all over again. 

Isa and I had pretty much got the hang of it by the time we'd moved our 300th sheep. 

We were awarded a B+ for our efforts, which I think isn't bad. I have been rewarded with Spittal beef for tea followed by chocolate torte from Saucy Desserts and I'm just waiting for my Crafty gin to be poured. It's so important to shop local, don't you think.... 

Flitting and Stripping

What you should know:

• if you keep reading you'll see a photo of Ivie stripping

Ivie has had two addresses in his life; I'd had two by the time I was 8 months old. I've moved house twice in the last year come to think of it (it made sense at the time, honest). 

I've been thinking about moving house this week - not that I'm planning on doing it again anytime soon. But we're getting ready for a new bathroom so have been taking down shelves and stripping wallpaper and there's now that strange echo that you get when you start to pack boxes prior to a move. 

Move 1, July 2019

Move 2, Dec 2019

Housing on farms is something that seems quite complicated if you haven't grown up in that environment. For example, Ivie's two addresses have been the farmhouse (where he grew up) and the farm cottage (where we live now). It takes less than a minute to walk between the two so he's never had to bother setting up mail redirection. 

When Ivie's brother and sister-in-law got married they moved into the cottage. So far, so straightforward. When their third child was on the way, they moved into the farmhouse. That's when Ivie moved into the cottage. The end. 

Except it's not the end. If one of Ivie's nieces or his nephew decide to make their life on the farm, they'll probably move into the cottage so we'll move out. And if later they have a growing family, they'll probably move into the farmhouse, meaning Ivie's brother and sister-in-law will move out. And so the merry-go-round continues. 

It sounds harsh from the outside looking in but it's practical and follows the circle of life, a bit like farming itself. 

I used to think that would make me feel quite insecure and transient about where I lived but the old adage about home being where the heart is, is absolutely true. We're middle-aged so we're looking forward to choosing paint colours and flooring and have been saying things like, "it'll be so much easier to keep clean". 

Decorating doesn't feel like a waste of time because this is the home we're building together today. I could repeat all sorts of cliches about living in the here and now but it's something that kind of happens on the farm anyway. Every day is a new day and, although what happens today has an impact on the future, none of it is set in stone. 

For instance, Ivie is supposed to be at silage on another farm today but it started tipping down as soon as he got there so he'll head back and find another job that needs doing. Like stripping wallpaper. 

Two Baths Fisher